Bad night

I had an awful night last night. I wanted a cigarette so bad, that I could taste it. LOL. Anyway, it was so bad, that every little thing set me off. Last night, my oldest daughter Ariel was goofing off and she threw something and it knocked my glass of iced tea over, it spilled onto my whole right side of my body, and onto my chair. I got up and well let's just say it wasn't pretty. She and I ended up in a yelling match that lasted for a good solid half hour. I feel so awful about it, and I know I was wrong to do that, it was an accident, and she didn't mean to do it, but I should have been okay, and not screamed. I am really upset about it, and I hope that she will forgive me soon. The kids and my boyfriend don't know that I quit smoking, I didn't tell them and I am not going to. I just need to figure out what I am going to do, so that the little things don't bother me so much, at least until I can deal with this.

This morning, I am really depressed, and upset, but I think I am okay. I still have a craving but it isn't as bad as it was last night. I think she is mad at me, and I know my boyfriend is trying to figure out what to do about last night. As in how to react to it. He just sat there and watched me go bonkers. LOL.

I hate those feelings, and I hate what happened. I was stitching when this happened, and well, maybe the cravings won't be so bad after last night. I am keeping my fingers crossed.